My Sacrifice......."

75cc expander tissue balloon in my forehead makes me think of so many
sacrifices that I had to make to remove the mole from my forehead. It has
been four times I have done plastic surgery but my pursuit to look better
and reach the state of perfection still continues. Also, the mental state
through which I had to go and the sacrifices that I needed to make made it
even more difficult.

My fifth awaited opportunity came as a boon, which would end my pursuit for
perfection but greater challenges were attached with it. If I decided to
continue with my surgery, I had to sacrifice my two precious months. Two
months is really a long time and besides that, I would be away from all my
daily duties. At first I was unable to decide but finally, I made up my
mind, hoping to get the best result out of my sacrifices.

I had a 75cc silicon expander tissue balloon inside my forehead (a foreign
body), so I had to be careful with various infections. My doctor got this
balloon as a donation, so it was fine to me, otherwise, it would be very
expensive at my own cost. Somehow my surgery is like a cosmetic, which is
rare in our country. After my 1st phase of surgery, I had to go hospital
twice a week for injection to expand balloon. Sometimes, I felt why I am
doing all this, wasting my time, killing my desires and letting other
opportunities go but then this was what I was wanting for such a longtime.
The doctor had told me that I could go out with a cap but I knew people
would stretch their eyes on me and question me a lot. Also, I had fear of
infection from dirt and pollution so; unwillingly I had to stay at home for
two complete months. But after all it was my decision and all I could do was
pray and hope for best result. I had to do lot of compromises and sacrifices
but then, this is what life is made of.

I promise you all this was not easy at all. My surgery was a high risk and I
was very much worried and nervous. I missed my psychology classes, missed
the snowfall in Nagarkot, social gatherings, weddings, traveling with
friends but all this made me strong from inside and I could make major
decisions of life all by myself. These two months taught me to be patience,
to be independent and built up that inner confidence in me.

Today, I am glad that I took that major decision in life and the experience
that I got from my decision was truly of great value. After all, it is the
experiences that we rejoice at the end of the run. I have learnt that" to
get something we need to give something too".
I think I made a correct decision and the sacrifices that I had to make were
worth it



Smriti sharma tiwari .

My imagination

I saw him the day before, saw him today and hope to see him tomorrow too. But let see I will be lucky enough or not but I am still hoping for the best. I don’t really remember the date but it was Sunday when I saw him on the road hurrying for somewhere with bunch of friends with a big sacks at his shoulder. Here is this man who must be age of 14-15, greasy hair looks like he is trying to make dreadlock after he is from thamel where we can find these fashion on the foreigners, may be he is trying to copy or it is busyness that he have not have enough time to wash and brush, he might have shortage of water in his area where he live reason can be any think if we guess. He is short with loose pant trying to fall and he wears a cardigan, which has lot of ventilation, it must be someone’s old clothes that were given to him. His footwear is just like designs with lots of switching here and there. His cheek is very rough and greasy it seems like he has no any soap with him. But he have this different kinds of steel hand made rings in his hand, there is possibility of making him injure with it. Here he walks like he is about to win world walkathon championship. He doesn’t care for other expects that skinny dog that runs after him wherever he goes. He begins his journey from balaju in the early morning when it is chill and cold. God has gifted him sattal and pati in free, there is no objection in sleeping there, and he takes his sleep in one sattal and pati to another. He doesn’t get frightened; he is ready to fight for a sleep at night whether with police, dogs, or others like him. He is bold, strong, confidence, he doesn’t get back on grabbing opportunity of picking pocket sometime if in case. He is not aware of his vulgar words, spitting at any corner, running from one street to another, no care of road accident. But he has to struggle for his food. For this he have to collect all the rags and give it to particular place earn little money and enjoy rest of the day with food, ghaja, cigarette, alchol, he doesn’t have to care for age limit or get afraid of elders, he is free. He is ready to be victim of sex abuse for delicious food. Sometime when he blindly spends money next day he have to be on fasting too unwillingly too we knows all the cons and corners of the city. Sometime he is ready to rob at house in other direction to earn more money. Some time police personal also utilize them for wrong deeds. They have also chance of watching vulgar movies, magazines. If he get guide job he will do good . He just wants to be in the street, it is very difficult to keep him inside four walls and in discipline. He is not aware of cold and hot he is busy in working for food. He is very straight in speaking; he is ready to fight with anyone just like some strong boy. if he is injured he doesn’t care for the wound, he doesn’t have to worry about infection, he lets it heal itself. He doesn’t care for fresh food, he is ready to eat stale food for energy, he is not aware of diarrhea, or food poising. No any festival for him, any dashian, bhaitika. He is very much attracted toward lightening at the street, he is hopeful to get delicious food that day. He has so saving fund. Life on street is very pleasant for him. He is not worry about his parents; he might curse them for his situation if he is there because of them. He doesn’t have to settle home, no worry of earning for the family, he doesn’t dream of aboard study. Studying is out of question to him. He is in the city not thousand miles far from the city. . If u ask them he will say that they are on the street either by their father married another mother they mistreat him, or he might say that his parents are dead, his parents had sent him to earn money, he came to roam at city, he came along with his friend to earn more money, but he won’t say that he didn’t like to study and he escape. it is very difficult to make sure what is the reason behind it. I wonder if they remember their parents or not if they are hungry, sick, in trouble. I also wonder if they know the tradition, culture, taboos, do they believe in god? Does they know what love and care is all about is? do they ever realizes what their responsibilities for the country, society , do they know what society is?Don’t they ever had feeling of cared and loved by parents. But if he have group he is very careful about of his group there is sharing between them, they fight, they care for each other too, if have also gang fight. They go all places in-group; one becomes a leader and guide other. Why don’t we stretch our eyes upon those scenes too? Lets make them part of our life. if it is our duty to build our country then it is a first step for us to take these street boys inside four walls and try to educate them. Educating them not only means putting them in class, we can start from the ground with patience. we don’t have to memorize them like parrot ,let them stay with us they will slowly start learn.
Some people already start thinking this way and work for it but we need more manpower for it. Small little hands can lift the world if lift together, we also want the same here. it will be very insane to misused budget for their work. Please be sure that you are joining hand for them from any sector. We are here inside luxurious room just imagining if we were in that dark world what we would be like?
Smriti Sharma Tiwari